mExIcO

Pepino (5)and I! He is the youngest of 5 brothers at the orphanage.

I've been trying to come up with words for this post, but my heart is still too achy.
The moment I got to Mexico I felt it was my home, the first time I was surrounded by the children, I felt they were mine, and when I asked Him to break my heart for what breaks His, He successfully did that so I was sobbing the night before I left.
But seriously--what am I doing here in school??--is the question and thought that plagues me daily. But I known firmly that God still has me here.
In my quiet time today, He revealed to me that before I go to the nations I must learn to love every orphan spirit and begin really serving and loving in one the most difficult--hard hearted environments.
I love little orphan (spirited) Mexican children! It is so much easier for me to love them. Now that I know that, I want to focus on those orphan spirits that are more difficult to pour out on.
He did so much in Mexico, stretched me a TON and I got to see His sweet faithfulness for bringing me there. I know someday, whether sooner or later, I will be back.
I will post more later and also have more pics too! Thanks so much for your prayers. Much love,
Suse

It's Official

I'm going to Costa Rica for study abroad!!!
This June 17-August 1. Pretty crazy stuff. I don't have words, I'm so excited.

Also...I leave for Mexico in 2 days! Please be praying. I am also SUPER stoked for this.
It has been so cool to see Him provide for me in the last few weeks, it's so nice to see Him be Jehovah Jireh. I think sometimes He likes to mock my little faith by His great acts so I can trust Him again. Thanks for praying for my finances--I am learning to live day by day and though it is stressful at times--I am never shaken by it cuz I know Who owns the world!

Well, I am studying for my one and only final tomorrow..astronomy..:( I don't think my study habits will ever change...night before it is!! I still find it amusing that the Lord would bring me to college..knowing my level of motivation! But I am happy to say that I am super content being here even if I get a C in a class like astronomy! I am still loved the same by Him and He is pleased with my effort.
I will admit, I have had some hard days recently where I just want OUT of here and INTO where I belong...and orphanage in Mexico, Bolivia, loving on the poor...apparently He has more lessons to ingrain in me here! He is bringing me back to lessons I've already learned, which sometimes makes me frustrated-but it is good for me. I have to refocus myself on the HERE and the NOW and what God has in store at THIS season of my life.

However, I don't think I'll miss late night studying for pointless classes! :)

discouraging days

I am SO thankful for so many things in my life. So hopeful for so many things. Trusting God with so much in my life.
And yet, I have days like today where I am just discouraged, especially about ever finding a husband. Sometimes I feel like I live in a hole (a Charis hole, for that matter) and I avoid social events, and I go to a church that has about 50 people, and live in a way where I rarely meet new people (though yes, this is my fault too).
I have days like today where I fear that I will be an old maid...forever. I can dream of the future but even these thoughts give me no hope if I have no assurance of it.
Days like these I have to completely refocus, STOP, and try to get a glimpse of Jesus' vast love for me and that He THRIVES on giving good gifts to His children. Also that I have the privilege of being part of the Bride of Christ.
This is an amazing thought, that God would make a man out of the dust, create generations and all ethnicities of people, love them despite their endless wrongdoings due to an ugly enemy, love them faithfully even though they turn their back countless times, and then want to take them for a BRIDE. This kind of love I will never know, and Jesus, I am honored and humbled even to get to have a relationship with you.
Today I am a little discouraged and impatient, but the fun part is that as I wait on the Lord and pour my life into HIM, I will get to see Him bring a man out of nowhere someday (Lord willing)and see His faithfulness in knowing every desire of my heart. I am thankful that I have this time to learn fulfillment in the Lord alone, how to love Him more fully, how to become more selfless and giving (both for God and for my future husb) and to become prepared in the way He has designed me to be.
Sometimes I think....are all my dozens of letters to him and my purity going to waste if I never have him? But whatever happens, I say to myself, NO. How much more should I long to be pure for the Lord, and not just an earthly male that will never be able to fully satisfy me??
This is a hard lesson, these are hard days, but I will run the race strong, and finish strong.
Thanks dear friends for your prayers.
suse

What's in a Name

So...my last name is Omundson, originally "Amundsen" from our Norwegian relatives.
Today I was randomly looking up names/meanings online and I ran into:
{Amund=divine protection}
WOW! crazy. It's ironic (well with God, nothing is ironic) because as I mentioned, when I gave my testimony the main theme that came up was that God was my PROTECTOR. I have seen His hand protect me in COUNTLESS situations and I know He will continue to every day of my life--even if it looks different than I imagine. It is part of who He is, part of His divine good nature. Praise the Lord!
Coupled with my name that means "lily", I am doing pretty well! HA! :)

Miracle!

Ever since my aunt Megan (and uncle Chris) in Wheaton, Illinois had their son Bjorn 9years ago, they have desperately wanted more kids. My aunt especially always wished for lots of little kids. However, the time they had Bjorn was a miracle, and following that they tried in vitro countless times to no avail. And it was just physically impossible for my aunt to conceive naturally. Everyone pretty much accepted, including Megan and Chris, that they couldn't and wouldn't have anymore, and they grew to be content with that.
Throughout the years though, I PRAYED and PRAYED. I don't think anything broke my heart more to see this wonderful, patient, wise, beautiful, God-filled, fun, generous, creative, etc. mother want more kids and not be able to have more (even though she poured everything she had into Bjorn and was/is so grateful for him).

YESTERDAY...9 YEARS LATER...I get a text from my aunt: {"Susie, ready for another cousin?"} AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I shrieked and jumped up and down for joy for a good 5 minutes. Apparently they had decided to do one more round of in vitro. She said it was truly a miracle. Although she is only a little over a month along, she says it's the furthest she's ever gone. PLEASE pray with me that this baby will continue to grow healthy and strong, that she will not miscarry, and that my aunt will be healthy. By the way, she is 40, so obviously there are higher risks. But I am PRAISING THE LORD for His goodness and faithfulness. I pray that He would continue to give her the desires of her heart and that this would totally make her fall in love with Him on a new level. He has already done a miracle.
WOOOOHOOOO!!!!

**an additional note...she had a %0-5 of conceiving from the last round of in vitro..GOD LOVES TO BEAT THE ODDS!!!

Redeemed

Well, in a nutshell, Jesus is GOOD! If you know what I mean!
Thank you so much for praying about my testimony. The Lord flashed down His awesome supernatural rays of peace and freedom and He let me be BOLD and TRANSPARENT (the 2 words He gave me for this year) and say exactly what I needed to say. I was nervous for about 10 seconds and as soon as I started I was able to look all of the 46 girls in the eyes and not be discouraged. THAT is the Holy Spirit in me!
One of the girls in my house is awesome and sends super right-on mass verse texts every day and this is the one she sent the day I gave my testimony (her completely forgetting about my testimony later):

{"But Moses pleaded with the Lord, 'O Lord, I'm not very good with words. I never have been, and I'm not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue tied, and my words get tangled'. Then the Lord asked Moses, 'Who makes a person's mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say." -Ex. 4:10-11}

It was so cool hearing my story as I spoke it. I never thought it was anything special or unique until I gave it. I am blown away by the places the Lord has brought me to...and the theme throughout my story was PROTECTOR and friend. He has protected me in so many ways that I can't see until now, and that He has always been my constant companion and bestest friend.
I spoke of the great things God has done...and how He has redeemed/is redeeming the ugly parts of my life. It feels so good (mainly afterwards) to be so transparent, especially as the worship leader and a small group leader. I feel afterwards I had such huge weights lifted off of me and that He was weeping with joy. Now what the Lord is working in me is to reflect a humble love that comes from Him alone, that was the root of Him dying for us.
After my story, I have gotten a chance to have some real good conversations with the girls. One of my own roommates told me that "we needed to talk" and we went out on a date where she spilled some deep isues-stones unturned- and we got to see God's hand of redemption move.
I could talk for hours about how the Lord is moving in our house and unifying us, and the work of repentance he's churning in us. It's also exciting as we're almost finished with determining management for next year and how the Lord has confirmed so many things through so many people and how cool He is.
I am in such a good-restful-joyful-peaceful place right now. Praise the Lord.
Well, now on to my Spanish presentation that's due tmro....:)
Thanks for reading. Love you guys!
Suse

Tidbits

Well, since it has been a while since my last post, I thought I would share little tidbits about my life.
{3 weeks+ 1 day of finals till Spring break (or Mexico, I should say!) The Lord has graciously provided for this trip-even though I can't SEE all the provision yet-He has given me the go ahead for it! Another way to stretch my trust. If I haven't talked much about it, I will be going-change that to driving down in 2 vans- with about 13 other girls mainly from my house (along with our awesome, amazing cook and a dad) to Tijuana Mexico. We will be staying in an orphanage and mainly helping out there, loving on kids, and possibly helping out in a nearby hospice, etc. I am SOO excited and this will be my first time in a Spanish speaking country. I'm sure you'll hear more about this trip in the upcoming weeks (and definitely afterwards :)

{I had my Costa Rica interview last week (all in Spanish) and PTL I think it went pretty well! I really have no worries about getting in or not because God is in control. This is for my study abroad trip this June 17-July 31st. I am also super stoked for this. But at times struggeling and burdened about the financial aspects of it all

{One of my best friends Whitney (roomie from last year) is getting married this August 7th and I will get to sing and play in her wedding! She is one of the most beautiful women of the Lord I have ever met and am so excited for them. Her fiance is serving the military in Iraq right now and it has been hard for them to be apart for almost 11 months, but they have grown even more so because of it. And a huge blessing, they will probably be moving back to Corvallis next year as he finishes school.

{Even though it was over a week ago, I had a FABULOUS valentines day. One of my best friends (Amy's) dad "Papa Hood" insisted that he take his daughter valentine (me) out to lunch and I was so blessed. Papa and Mama Hood have truly taken me in like a daughter and I am blown away by their generosity, grace, kindness, humor, and example of a great marriage. Then, my roommate and friend Rebecca and I spontaneously decided to go to the beach. 45 minutes later, we arrived to Newport, and it ended up being SUNNY and BEAUTIFUL and not even that cold! It was a glorious, healing day and was just what we needed. Rebecca had just broken up with her boyfriend of 5 years as led by the Lord and it was so cool to sing and dance around on the beach to "I am free to run!". The day ended with a little Yogurt Extreme (the new, most delicious ice cream place a few blocks down). I felt so spoiled by the Lord.

{The sunny weather! The last week was full of sunny (ok, still a little cold :) days and that is always a reason for me to rejoice. I LOVE the time when spring is just around the corner. If you live/have lived in Oregon, you know what I mean. It's like a personal gift from God to me.

{Ok, so I am for sure sharing my testimony with the house this next Monday, March 1! I have felt so much more peace about it, but I would still really appreciate your prayers. I know naturally I will be super nervous and just dreadful. Pray the SUPERNATURAL will come over me and Jesus will wrap me up in His arms. I am spending at least an hour every day this week just praying about it and letting the Lord prepare me. I am super excited to just do it and have it over with!

{BTW the day after those lyrics came to me, I sat down at the piano and Jesus gave me a whole new melody for it and the rest of the song! One girl in my house was particularly blessed by it and I am praising the Lord. This has been a huge year of developing and realizing my gifting--not to take pride in it, obviously--but not to hide it! And not to keep it for myself but to bless and nurture others through it!

{My favorite verse to meditate on recently: 1 Cor 2:9- "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him." I can be confident that no matter what dreams or desires of mine ever get fulfilled, if I am abandoned to loving Him and hearing His heart and following Him wholeheartedly, I will never be disappointed. THANK YOU JESUS!

{Which reminds me, in the last few weeks I had been stressed out about my major and what I was going to do with it. I had considered dropping the education aspect of it and just doing Spanish and HDFS (human development and family services) so I could do orphangage stuff someday. I was just trusting the Lord and laying it before Him. Then, last Thursday morning I woke up, and I felt at complete peace to keep my education minor and go in the teaching route. The Lord could completely change this by the time I graduate, but as of now, I am excited to teach!!! I am thinking now of something like ESL for elementary kids. I realized I was hesitant in this area because I didn't believe in my capabilities and was fearful of potential failure. But then I look back at how I was 4 and fist wanted to be a teacher, and how i taught imaginary school every day for countless years. I feel it has always been ingrained in me. I don't think most other children got whiteboards or an overhead for their birthday! I still have such a passion to live abroad and love on poor and needy children, or to work for IJM, so we will see how the Lord will lead! It is exciting..and still far away. My life and plans are held out to Him with open hands...

{I don't know if this is normal or not for a 19 year old, but I have had such an intesnse desire this year just to HAVE KIDS! Somedays I am so impatient to be a MOTHER! I am savoring this time in my life, but many days I can't help but look ahead. I am obsessed with names. My favorite names right now are {Fe, Mairyn, Luceia, Ellarie, Aivelyn} and {Kiam, Abel, Kaedmon, Noam and Job}. Lord grant me patience! Somedays I fear it will never happen...but I am trying to focus on the here and now and the growth the Lord is doing in me now and intimacy with Him.

Well I think that is most of it....I must get ready for class now but more to come in the near future! Thanks for reading! The Lord is good. Love you devoted friends!
Suse

PS Here are some pics of the beach!