My Dreams

Today in church we sang a song and part of it really got to me today.
"All of my ambitions, hopes and plans..I surrender these into Your hands.."

For a long time I had felt a little disconnected from the Lord and even feeling like He didn't want to fulfill any of my dreams or that He was going to withhold from me. I wasn't trusting His goodness, and was believing silly lies. Today I walked to Qdoba after my run, my favorite restaurant where I always have some of the best times with the Lord, and I clearly heard him say to me, "I want you to tell me all your dreams, every dream you've ever had, any hope or plan you've formed in your heart." I think at first I kind of rolled my eyes at Him (oops, sorry Lord! :-) and he said, "No, seriously, I want you to tell me!" It was interesting to verbally be able to express everything I have/have had in my heart. I heard the Lord say, "Ok...I want to surpass those."
AHHH!
I think that those times when we feel him "withholding" or "not answering our prayers" or "ignoring us" or "trying to punish us", he is really just saying..."I actually have something in mind that you will like far better!" ...or that will be better for me. Or that maybe my timing is imperfect.
Another thing I realized about my dreams is that they were all kind of surfacy. I mean, wanting a husband and kids and all are big things, but most things were circumstancial. I feel He is challenging me to ask for things that require more faith and that have more Kingdom value. Yes, He dearly loves my heart and all the things I have already asked--but He wants to do more work. He WANTS to answer more, and things that I think would never happen.

He is blowing my mind! I have four more days of school and then I'm off to a fall retreat with the Calvary college group in Sunriver. I'm SO looking forward to the rest and what God is going to do, as well as getting to know more people!

Also, my testimony went well last week, thanks for the prayers! He always uses the weak to lead the strong.
Well, I should get back to my schoolwork.....
oh, also, I will be fasting from sugar this week....feel like that's been controlling me a bit lately.
Have a great week!