I've been thinking about relationships and such a lot more since so many of my friends/acquaintances are getting engaged and married and dating..
Never having dated before I am still clueless about a lot of things... pondering the future and such, I've been a little overwhelmed at the balance of wanting to hold out for the one God has for me (if there is even one), and holding high standards, etc, vs. not being too picky, not expecting him to be like I expected, being somewhat disappointed, etc. Does that makes sense?
I'm pretty sure i haven't met him yet, and it will probably be a long time before i have to worry about any of this, but I'm realizing I still have a lot of fear that either I will never meet him or that I will marry the "wrong" person or....on and on.
What scares me is finally dating someone when I'm, say, 22 years old, and having so much pressure to feel like he is the one, and not wanting to have multiple relationships first, and wondering if there's another one better suited for me....such an unknown world.
Side note, I've felt a little implied pressure from family members about dating someone, because in every way it would appear we were destined for each other. Even though I know it's not supposed to be, it makes me wonder if I am being too picky and holding out for someone that doesn't exist...but I really am not holding drastically unrealistic expectations on someone..I know the greatest man in the world couldn't satisfy me to the level God takes me.
I guess I have a few questions, if anyone has any feedback/experience/wisdom...
~Is it hindering to have a few basic "rules" for the one i marry? (loves the Lord more than me/has a hunger to grow more in the Lord, someone who pursues me and adores me, mutual attraction, enjoy spending time together like best friends, compatible giftings/passions/dreams to give most glory to God, and a desire for children) I don't think it is, but just checking....:)
~Does God ever put a strong desire in someone for marriage/kids who never receives it?
~Is there really ONE person out there that would be the best for you?
~Is it better to be single than to marry someone that isn't completely right for you?
~Is it better to have a casual outlook on dating (esp. for the first time at a later age) and not expect to marry the first person you date, or should you be more serious about each decision?
Obviously i have my own opinions about these but I guess I would appreciate someone else's.
I don't really like to write sappy posts that often, so sorry! ;-)
Tis the season.....
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Oh, Susannah! I'm so glad you HAVE these questions and thoughts! I did NOT...at least BEFORE I was married. So, we have two extremes...those who don't think and those who do. I will pray that Jesus remains at the forefront of your heart and mind and at the times you are struggling with these thoughts and worries, you can experience a glimpse of HIS arms around you. He wants you to enjoy the here and now. Does that sound too cliche? And for the record, I believe you will be torn at times, when the ONE comes into your life. You WILL wonder if you are messing up your entire life. But if that ONE becomes the ONE, you hang on to each other for dear life and run after Jesus. He can and will get you through anything. Trust me. Peace out sistah.
ReplyDeleteThanks Seren!!
ReplyDeleteOk, so we just need to talk! Yes it is MUCH BETTER to be single than to marry someone you know you shouldn't be with! Yes, it is DEFINITELY good to have a list of things you "desire" about your future spouse (all the things you wrote were things I had), but it is good to let some of the less necessary things change (like being ok if your passions are a bit different . . . God can use those to mold you even more). Ahhh, so much to say. PRAYING! LOVE YOU
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