Seeking First in 2012

Hello!
There are a great many things I could write about right now, but the one that stands out to me now is the concept of seeking the kingdom of God.

It says in Matthew 6:33: "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

I've been praying for a greater dose of faith as I have approximately $1,500 left to go for Israel. It feels like doing the dishes-you turn around, and there's way more than you thought left to go! It has been a little disheartening to say the least. I have to admit I have been living from my mind and flesh recently, being consumed with how can i earn money and what did i do wrong and what if it doesn't come in...
Today I was struck in a new way this gentle demand of the Lord's, SEEKING FIRST THE KINGDOM. I was challenged by what that looks like in my life. Matthew 6:33 doesn't say, "If you're smart, all these things will be added to you" or "If you're more frugal, all these things will be added to you" or even "If you're good enough all these things will be added to you". NO! With Him, it is always about the relationship! He just wants to be sought. He wants to be worshiped, to be explored, to be the bigger dream than even the things you ask of. He wants to be loved. And He wants His kingdom reflected in your life.
In two days, a new year begins. I don't do this often, but I really want my #1 desire and goal for 2012 to be seeking His kingdom like I never have before. And not just because I want/need "all these things". I was on a walk today where I blurted out to Him, "I just want to do Your will." He responded, "You want to have a full life in Me. That's what you want--living in my will is part of it."
It's true, I do want a full(er) life in Him. I feel like recently I've just been scraping along, trying to find my joy in people and the holidays and the future, which can be all too easy for me sometimes. I have been realizing how my life here could potentially already be 1/4 of the way over (not to be morbid)....and while it seems I have a lot of time left, I do not want to live the rest of that time like I have this quarter. I want to live each day with purpose and seeking His face...not perfect, but choosing life and love more often than not.

There are a few things that stand out that I really want to focus on--

~Abiding in Him--whether I'm in the prayer room on my knees, walking to class, in class, doing homework, talking to a girl at lunch, in the shower....I'm craving that constant communication which has been lacking. I just want to BE in His presence, no striving.
~Eating His Word--I want His word to be tattooed on my heart and mind....I want it to consume me and to guide me! I want to prioritize it more. I want it to captivate me again in a new way. (Not to mention I'm going to Israel and I don't think I'll look at the Bible the same ever again!)
~Discipline--I need to be refined by Him...and I need to still myself so I can hear Him. I want my words and actions to reflect everything I believe about Jesus. I want to develop healthy habits and disciplines that will be life giving.

This year is also a neccesary time to be intentionally fixing my affections towards Jesus....I always figured that in 2012 I would get married (first comes college, then comes marriage...etc.). While I have been increasingly content with the timing He has for me, it is still hard, especially with "everyone" around me in that boat. And my desire for children only grows by the day. Please pray for greater faith in these areas too.

Lastly, on January 9th when we all get back to school I am speaking to the house about "guarding your heart". Please pray for insight & confidence for me as I pray about it/speak and that He would use me.

P.S> Not lastly! ;-) I am basically deciding the teaching route I am going next month--bilingual (a much larger leap of faith, scares me to death, exhilarating, what I feel called to) or ESOL (less stress, perhaps less of what I really want to do, the "easy" way out). Not a super big deal in the scheme of things, but still a decision that will carry consequences (not all bad) in the upcoming years. I've been feeling very unconfident in my Spanish as I haven't had a good place to use it and I just hear whispers of failure all around me for student teaching next year! Pray that He would reiterate my identity to me.

I appreciate every prayer, thank you!!!
Blessings to all in 2012, He is soo good and faithful!!

(my little miracle cousin Mia and I over Christmas :-)

Loving Our Kids

It may seem way too early for most people, but I have been wanting to read "Loving Our Kids on Purpose" (Danny Silk) for some time now, and I am finally getting the chance over Christmas break! (this 4 week break is amazing for a lot of reasons!) I figure being a mom is probably still years down the road, but I want to have as much wisdom as possible beforehand, since I feel it is one of my biggest callings! :-) Not only does it change the way to think about parenting, but it has been mindblowing, changing the way I think about how God the Father interacts with me. It has also allowed me to see how the way I was raised wasn't 100% a reflection of the Kingdom of Heaven (I already knew that--but it is good to see things clearly and to be able to forgive as they come up). It's good just to soak in truth.
I think so far the line that has gotten to me the most is "The way we live our lives shows Jesus the value we have for our connection with Him."
I long to have such a strong heart-to-heart connection with my Jesus above all else, and to have that reflected someday in my parenting.
Somewhere in these four weeks I am also finishing the last two weeks of Breaking Free (from summer), working with my dad in construction, visiting with family from Chicago, making Christmas gifts with as little money possible, just resting,and much more.
The last few days I have felt little injections of faith being shot into my heart, regarding finances, the future, etc. which is a blessing. Thank you so much for your prayers--pray that I will continue to rest and hear from the Lord over the break.
Blessings!