I was walking back from Freddy's today and was consumed with thoughts of worry about $$ and how I was going to be able to pay x about of expenses. Then I listened for a sec and heard the Lord sing over me "Don't you worry honey..."
I got all settled in at Charis last night with my friend Rebes in our new room and we went grocery shopping for the first time as independents. So weird. Anyway, although the Lord has been SOO generous and good in providing a job for me, at least till mid July (more details later!), there are still a lot of holes to be filled financially, especially with school stuff, and just thinking about Israel stresses me out. I don't want to live day-to-day in stress and fear.
It seems He keeps bringing me back to Matthew 6 like every day. Today He zoomed in on the part that says "Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs..." (vs. 31)
Nothing I ask or tell Him shocks or overwhelms Him. Disappoints Him. Puts a load on Him that He can't bear. Why do I have so little faith?! His eyes pierces through my life to the needs and desires I can't even fathom. I know He journals about my life every day, His thoughts outnumber the grains of sand...surely He has some solutions up His sleeve! Surely He is my Shepherd and my Daddy and my Portion.
I wonder if I will ever get this lesson down pat or if every time, He will need to teach me to trust. Either way, I am trying to live out "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." (Matt 6:34)
On the bright side, I am already enjoying living here and I KNOW that it is a summer of intense growth, discipline, healthy habits and also fun and enjoying my favorite season of the year.
My bed calls.
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