Pity Party.

Well, it is 3:15, which might make some sense out of the title!
I have been realizing how much pitying myself has gotten me down in a rut--instead of overflowing with thanksgiving for what I have and who God is.
Let's see, what have I been pitying about?
-"Everyone is going through a "new season" and I feel like I have been stuck in this season forever, not to mention it hasn't been sunny for a month!"
-"All of my friends and housemates are finding their husbands/sig others and getting married...I will be at least 30 when I get married, and I won't even get to have kids!"
-"So and so haven't paid me back all year!:
-"If my parents weren't divorced...."
-"I can't afford...."
-"This friend doesn't even care about me anymore..."

ON and ON! Wow, it is amazing how much you can pity yourself without realizing it.
I remember a wise older lady telling our house earlier this year at the retreat that the best thing you can do when in that situation is to give to others; bless others; love on others.

It says constantly throughout scripture, REJOICE IN THE LORD!
The LORD! Not in how my situation is reflecting my personal desires, how my friends treat me, how close I feel to the Lord....
Rejoice IN THE LORD!

This past month I feel has not been the strongest between me and the Lord. The desire is there to love the Lord, but I feel my strength is not. Maybe I have frustrated myself in not hearing His voice, or not seeing any cool things happen, or just feeling blah. I know what I need to do, but I can't seem to do it. (just like those verses in Romans so well states).
I am a little bummed, because I was wanting to go to Costa Rica so on FIRE for the Lord and to be so strong that any problem would be a breeze. All I know is that His ways are SO much higher than mine, He has a plan for this trip, He is not upset or disappointed in me, and He's always there to give me a second chance.
But seriously....I am sooo badly wanting to impact LIVES in Costa Rica!! If learning Spanish is the only thing I do there, I will be disappointed. I want my family to be saved; maybe a few classmates. I am already asking God for that. Holy Spirit, come over me like a flood through your vessel and do what is impossible in my eyes!
Some fears have been creeping in on me with the verge of the trip: my health, having an emergency, getting lost (there aren't really street names/addresses in CR, just directions around landmarks), having conflicts with my family, running out of money, being forced to drink alcohol, etc! Silly little things if you think about them. But if you think of me please pray for those things!
Not to mention...packing for 6 weeks is a little more overwhelming than I thought :)
Ahh!!!
Ok...I just need some sleep! Thanks for listening to me rant a little.
Blessings on you,
Suse

So Soon

Last Wednesday I finally got info regarding my family in Costa Rica!! I am so thrilled...

both the parents are 41, the mom stays at home and the dad works for some financial service.

There is a 7 yr old girl, Ximena,

And a six-month old boy, Jose Andres!

Sooo adorable! What a perfect fit for me! Can't wait to squeeze him and play with her.

It also said that they were not religious. This will be a hard, but interesting 6 weeks! I am praying so hard that my family will get to at least experience a whiff of the Spirit, and that He will give me the right words to say at the right time! The mom emailed me back within minutes of writing her and they are excited to have me, and she said she already told her mom and brothers that live in this beautiful town in the country, and that she wants me to go with her to visit them, etc.  There is internet in the house which will be nice to keep a little connected:) I will be keeping a blog while I'm there (don't know how much I can write) but that will be at http://www.costaricansusana.blogspot.com/ .

Words can't say how excited I am to go there....only 12 MORE DAYS!!! So crazy.

Please pray the rest of the preparations go smoothly.....I am NOT the most organized and detail-oriented person :) Also please pray for finances and that it wouldn't be a huge burden, especially on my dad. I will mainly be taking out a lot of loans. Trusting our gracious Lord to provide for His favorite daughter :)

That's it for now...just one final on Monday and I'm done with school!! This year has been the fastest by far.

Thank you so much for all your love and support.

Suse