Single Life

Single life may be only a stage of a life's journey, but even a stage is a gift. God may replace it with another gift, but the receiver accepts His gifts with thanksgiving. This gift for this day. The life of faith is lived one day at a time, and it has to be lived - not always looked forward to as though the 'real' living were around the next corner. It is today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow.



-Elisabeth Elliot
 
I especially related with the "not always looked forward to as though the 'real' living were around the next corner". That is PRECISELY how I feel I have been living my life--thank you for that conviction, Lord, and thank you for THIS day...and for tomorrow, however it may go..
 
It's been almost a month since I've returned from CR, and long story short....
I was doing great, spiritually speaking, in CR. I learned a ton, just grew a lot closer to the Lord, and heard from Him that when I got back I needed to really follow hard after Him, that there would be a lot more attack after getting back. He was right, and I unfortunately didn't do that. I slunk (probably a word I just invented) back into my sinful nature and mostly, just got lazy about our relationship. Along with not having to do a ton upon my return, I just didn't put forth much effort to grow in and seek the Lord. Honestly, super honest, I can think of maybe two times I have cracked open my Bible and just been refreshed since CR. It has been atrocious! That is not to say God hasn't been working in my life, with me and my family, or that I haven't not wanted to grow in love more with the Lord. But still, probably one of my lowest lows.....
I can tell when there is that dullness and indifference and no longer a sensitive heart that sees people how God does or sees the things of God how they really are. When there is a laziness to draw near to God, even if He meets me halfway. When I see the idols in my life but can't seem to give them up.
But I don't want to dwell on this part, because it is not what our gracious Father dwells on.
Despite what I've done, He still pursues me, reminding me a lot of Hosea and the prostitute wife.
He soothes me with reminders of a good future for me, and the joy in TODAY.
He is humble enough to wait for me to come back to Him, and He knows I will....
He is patient and loving and gentle and kind and gracious....
Convicting, yes. Grieved, sometimes yes. Saddened, probably.
 
Thank you Jesus that your yolk is easy and your burden is light.
 
Jesus is calling me to get away. I need to get away and pour out my heart to Him. I am to write Him a long letter, to resurrender every little thing, to confess and repent my sin, to ask Him to fill me with an ability to love Him well, and others well, to show me His love in new ways, to fill me with renewed passion, to be reminded of just how AWESOME even a drop of His presence is, to be alikened to Him more and more....I just want to be oozing Jesus.
 
Please be praying and thank you for loving me like Jesus does. I am so grateful.
I'll update soon how things are going. I know they can only get better though!! :)
 
Suse
 
PS> I am in a 4 room this year, still on the 3rd floor, with a returning girl named Kellie, who I love (even though we're completely different), a freshman named Amalia (from REDDING, CA!) who is a little shy and nervous but real and sweet, and a sophmore new to Charis named Kendra who is bubbly and funny and sweet. I think it will be a little hard at first but I can tell it will be a great, and life changing year.