discouraging days

I am SO thankful for so many things in my life. So hopeful for so many things. Trusting God with so much in my life.
And yet, I have days like today where I am just discouraged, especially about ever finding a husband. Sometimes I feel like I live in a hole (a Charis hole, for that matter) and I avoid social events, and I go to a church that has about 50 people, and live in a way where I rarely meet new people (though yes, this is my fault too).
I have days like today where I fear that I will be an old maid...forever. I can dream of the future but even these thoughts give me no hope if I have no assurance of it.
Days like these I have to completely refocus, STOP, and try to get a glimpse of Jesus' vast love for me and that He THRIVES on giving good gifts to His children. Also that I have the privilege of being part of the Bride of Christ.
This is an amazing thought, that God would make a man out of the dust, create generations and all ethnicities of people, love them despite their endless wrongdoings due to an ugly enemy, love them faithfully even though they turn their back countless times, and then want to take them for a BRIDE. This kind of love I will never know, and Jesus, I am honored and humbled even to get to have a relationship with you.
Today I am a little discouraged and impatient, but the fun part is that as I wait on the Lord and pour my life into HIM, I will get to see Him bring a man out of nowhere someday (Lord willing)and see His faithfulness in knowing every desire of my heart. I am thankful that I have this time to learn fulfillment in the Lord alone, how to love Him more fully, how to become more selfless and giving (both for God and for my future husb) and to become prepared in the way He has designed me to be.
Sometimes I think....are all my dozens of letters to him and my purity going to waste if I never have him? But whatever happens, I say to myself, NO. How much more should I long to be pure for the Lord, and not just an earthly male that will never be able to fully satisfy me??
This is a hard lesson, these are hard days, but I will run the race strong, and finish strong.
Thanks dear friends for your prayers.
suse