I just HAPPENED to have an urge to read 1 Peter, where 4:19 struck me:
{..and trust your lives to the God who created you, for He will never fail you}
Simple, yet soo profound!
A couple of hours ago I was talking with some friends and my good friend Julie mentioned she had seen a job opening at Big Town Hero (sandwich place just a few blocks away, owners go to the church that supports Charis). Ten minutes later I walked over and got the application, the manager was very friendly, and within half hour I filled it out and returned it.
Please pray for favor! Just while this was happening Julie was talking to me about her boyfriend really needing a job. Right after I got back, he texted and said he had an interview and was hired! I think today is a day of favor...:)
I am not worried whatsoever because the Lord sees and knows my every need. I am waiting on Him....and trusting Him because He created me, and He will never fail me. PTL.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
"Home"
Right now I'm finally in the place that seems most like home to me: Charis.
I am just so dang blessed to be here and with these 14 girls on leadership this week, it has already been truly enriching.
We got back today from a 3 day retreat where we all shared our testimonies: the kind where EVERYONE cries and you see the real person, everything they have gone through and what Jesus has done in their life. Hearing testimonies are my favorite and as we sat there for hours, I was simply intrigued by each one and how incredible the Lord is. Thanks to the Lord, I wasnt very nervous (esp. having done it last year in front of everyone) and not having really much prepared, it was cool to just talk and see where He led me. Anyways, I feel very close to my sisters and am so blessed for the constant conversations we have about the Lord and our lives, all the encouragement, uplifting, hugs, etc. The Lord knows me....so well.
New girls move in in 3 days. I'm excited...also know it will be a bit overwhelming.
I am glad the Lord is finally taking me out of this wilderness phase, and that He has taught me so much. My life verse I feel like for now is:
"But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert (check) and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope." (Hosea 2:14)
PLEASE pray favor for a job for me. Campus jobs are looking already full and it's super hard to get one, and since I don't have a car...you get the picture. I am really feeling like I need to get one this year. Please pray against financial stress for my parents. I don't know if I mentioned it, but my dad & fam will probably have to move out of their house because of $ and it's really hard on my dad.
Also, please pray for the drunk people hollering outside my window that will probably keep me up tonight, per usual. These precious people on this campus and in this city are my mission field; these souls may be changed someday by Jesus' life through me, and I will not waste a minute thinking about the future when I can be clinging on to opportunities. It may not be a poor, delightful Mexican child, but a hungry, striving college student that needs Love today.
Well, gotta go for now, but thanks for the prayers and praying blessings for you too.
I am just so dang blessed to be here and with these 14 girls on leadership this week, it has already been truly enriching.
We got back today from a 3 day retreat where we all shared our testimonies: the kind where EVERYONE cries and you see the real person, everything they have gone through and what Jesus has done in their life. Hearing testimonies are my favorite and as we sat there for hours, I was simply intrigued by each one and how incredible the Lord is. Thanks to the Lord, I wasnt very nervous (esp. having done it last year in front of everyone) and not having really much prepared, it was cool to just talk and see where He led me. Anyways, I feel very close to my sisters and am so blessed for the constant conversations we have about the Lord and our lives, all the encouragement, uplifting, hugs, etc. The Lord knows me....so well.
New girls move in in 3 days. I'm excited...also know it will be a bit overwhelming.
I am glad the Lord is finally taking me out of this wilderness phase, and that He has taught me so much. My life verse I feel like for now is:
"But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert (check) and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope." (Hosea 2:14)
PLEASE pray favor for a job for me. Campus jobs are looking already full and it's super hard to get one, and since I don't have a car...you get the picture. I am really feeling like I need to get one this year. Please pray against financial stress for my parents. I don't know if I mentioned it, but my dad & fam will probably have to move out of their house because of $ and it's really hard on my dad.
Also, please pray for the drunk people hollering outside my window that will probably keep me up tonight, per usual. These precious people on this campus and in this city are my mission field; these souls may be changed someday by Jesus' life through me, and I will not waste a minute thinking about the future when I can be clinging on to opportunities. It may not be a poor, delightful Mexican child, but a hungry, striving college student that needs Love today.
Well, gotta go for now, but thanks for the prayers and praying blessings for you too.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
CAN'T WAIT
for the day when I'm married and my husband I will walk on the downtown streets of Portland, (or another needy place) and we can find a homeless person to take out to a nice meal. That will be oh so fun. And pick up every hitchhiker I (we) see. In fact, I probably won't marry someone unless they would be willing to do that kind of stuff. :-)
On that note, I've been having a mental struggle between doing foolish things vs. hearing the Spirit and stepping out in faith. It seems to me that the world likes to mix the two, calling the latter foolish as well. For instance, I almost stopped and picked up a hitchhiker on the freeway the other day, even though he was a man (he seemed nice to me). I didn't probably just because I couldn't get over in time. I don't know what it is about me and my wild, non-fearing heart, but it seems like a lot of ideas i have like these people deem foolish. And some of them are probably true. {I always want to go outside alone at night (in my college town) and everyone looks down on that. Ok, so some of this is common sense and I am stubborn.}
I would love any input or wisdom on this matter.
Maybe it's not because I am really brave, maybe it's because i have a Holy Spirit covering that's giving me the "ok" to do things, that will bring Him glory. I am not entirely stupid and won't do things that are obviously idiotic.
I'm just wanting to do so many things but often feel restricted as a single woman. Very frustrating at times, yet God knows the scene and will use me exactly as He sees fit. It could just be that this is not the time of my life to do those things.
On that note, I've been having a mental struggle between doing foolish things vs. hearing the Spirit and stepping out in faith. It seems to me that the world likes to mix the two, calling the latter foolish as well. For instance, I almost stopped and picked up a hitchhiker on the freeway the other day, even though he was a man (he seemed nice to me). I didn't probably just because I couldn't get over in time. I don't know what it is about me and my wild, non-fearing heart, but it seems like a lot of ideas i have like these people deem foolish. And some of them are probably true. {I always want to go outside alone at night (in my college town) and everyone looks down on that. Ok, so some of this is common sense and I am stubborn.}
I would love any input or wisdom on this matter.
Maybe it's not because I am really brave, maybe it's because i have a Holy Spirit covering that's giving me the "ok" to do things, that will bring Him glory. I am not entirely stupid and won't do things that are obviously idiotic.
I'm just wanting to do so many things but often feel restricted as a single woman. Very frustrating at times, yet God knows the scene and will use me exactly as He sees fit. It could just be that this is not the time of my life to do those things.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Counting down
Today, a profound thought hit me as my family and I were driving on the beautiful highway road from Corvallis to the freeway. We had just dropped something off in Corvallis and were on our way to Salem. Lately I have been noticing how this ~12 minute stretch has seemed to keep dragging longer and longer each time I come/go to and from Corvo.
I remarked, "This road seems really long" or something like that.
My dad answered, "It always seems longer when you're anxious to get somewhere."
SO TRUE. I thought first of all the times I was on the edge of my seat just desperately waiting to get back to Corvallis and to Charis and how the road was just gloomily too long.
And then I thought of how many times, on this road that I'm on, how desperately long it seems. Even though there are beautiful hills and mountains and hay and cows all around me, I just don't care and want to get to my final destination. I have been anxious. This ultimately stems, I believe, from not trusting the Lord and His goodness, even if I think that I do.
I want my heart to be settled and rested and rooted so deep in His love that He has to yank me from the cows to see what He has laid out for me next :)
I believe there's nothing wrong with looking forward to something, or dreaming a little now and then--and if it is wrong well then.....I am very guilty! ;-) My thought has always been that our wishes and hopes and dreams and desires, etc, can be little ways to see God's faithfulness to us and to see His heart for us. Yesterday I reread a few pages of stuff the Lord was speaking to me last winter and one of the things He said for me was to "dream big".
But man, I just wanna enjoy the beautiful ride. Even if there AREN'T fields and cows and mountains to admire.
I don't want this to be a cliche post, but this is just what's been going through my head recently. Probably cuz He's reallllly working on deep trust in my heart and being settled with RIGHT where I'm at. Basic things like that.
Thanks for listening and thanks for you all your prayers. Much love,
suse
I remarked, "This road seems really long" or something like that.
My dad answered, "It always seems longer when you're anxious to get somewhere."
SO TRUE. I thought first of all the times I was on the edge of my seat just desperately waiting to get back to Corvallis and to Charis and how the road was just gloomily too long.
And then I thought of how many times, on this road that I'm on, how desperately long it seems. Even though there are beautiful hills and mountains and hay and cows all around me, I just don't care and want to get to my final destination. I have been anxious. This ultimately stems, I believe, from not trusting the Lord and His goodness, even if I think that I do.
I want my heart to be settled and rested and rooted so deep in His love that He has to yank me from the cows to see what He has laid out for me next :)
I believe there's nothing wrong with looking forward to something, or dreaming a little now and then--and if it is wrong well then.....I am very guilty! ;-) My thought has always been that our wishes and hopes and dreams and desires, etc, can be little ways to see God's faithfulness to us and to see His heart for us. Yesterday I reread a few pages of stuff the Lord was speaking to me last winter and one of the things He said for me was to "dream big".
But man, I just wanna enjoy the beautiful ride. Even if there AREN'T fields and cows and mountains to admire.
I don't want this to be a cliche post, but this is just what's been going through my head recently. Probably cuz He's reallllly working on deep trust in my heart and being settled with RIGHT where I'm at. Basic things like that.
Thanks for listening and thanks for you all your prayers. Much love,
suse
Sunday, September 5, 2010
I Have Found
....a trust that teaches how to rest.
Trying to really dwell on just this line of Kim Walker's song right now. In the midst of preparing my Costa Rica portfolio (due tomorrow), generally packing and organizing from two houses to move (in one week), starting and finishing little projects, pondering my testimony for next week (leader week), and more, my heart is overwhelmed...
until I just let it go....sink into that overflowing trust that God has put in my heart. I must rest in that trust. I also have joy over sadness, a love that lights up every room, and a peace that plows on through the storm.
Amen Jesus. Thank you for taking care of the hot mess of my life. Days like today, I just need to sit back and watch You do your thing. I love you!
Trying to really dwell on just this line of Kim Walker's song right now. In the midst of preparing my Costa Rica portfolio (due tomorrow), generally packing and organizing from two houses to move (in one week), starting and finishing little projects, pondering my testimony for next week (leader week), and more, my heart is overwhelmed...
until I just let it go....sink into that overflowing trust that God has put in my heart. I must rest in that trust. I also have joy over sadness, a love that lights up every room, and a peace that plows on through the storm.
Amen Jesus. Thank you for taking care of the hot mess of my life. Days like today, I just need to sit back and watch You do your thing. I love you!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Childlike Faith
Today when I was shoveling tile for Omundson Construction the thought came to me,
{when i was a child, i expected what i needed
and asked for what I wanted.}
I know that this is not true for every person, but just from my honest child heart, this is what I thought.
Does childlike faith look different for everyone?
Should I expect what I need....in other words, be confident and totally at ease that all my necessities will be provided for?
I know I need to "seek the Kingdom of God above all else.." (Luke 12:31), and that is a given. I suppose that when I am in that place of seeking the Kingdom, I just have that expectancy that He will provide. This seems right to me.
He also says "keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. keep on seeking, and you will find."
Again, when this is in the context of seeking the Kingdom, I can ask for whatever I want! Right?
I wonder how the 7 yr old me would have dealt with having to find a job in a town where--there ARE no jobs :) Is this where I need to expect He will provide that job?
I think yes.
**Side note--I have been doing a trillion times better since my last post. Not feeling completely "up to par" but wayyy better. I have been doing a lot of cleaning and organizing and..purging at both my houses which has been good--both because I have always hated throwing/giving stuff away and this time I had no problem-and because it is such a good reminder that I do need to purge everything from my spiritual body that shouldn't belong there.
**Another side note--I have always struggled a little with body image (who doesn't), but ever since I returned from Costa Rica (where I lost quite a bit of weight) and have been putting it back on, I have just felt frustrated and a lack of self-control whatsoever, especially on what I eat. This is a huge area the Lord is trying to work through in me.
Today I felt was a kind of breakthrough point. I was walking by myself around Bridgeport (a fancy little (ok, big) shopping "town") and at first was feeling a little self conscious, especially amongst all the glam and "high classness". Today I let it go and said to myself, "I am always going to be a little awkward. Maybe always a little chubby. But this is who I am (today, at least) and I am going to love it, and know God is still madly in love with me." This is not to say that the Lord is not encouraging me to healthier lifestyles--say, to not overindulge, or that I am settling with where I'm at.
I guess mainly I'm learning where my confidence comes from--purely from the Lord--and He sees the fine masterpiece He made, above what anyone else (including and especially myself) can see..
Ok...well enough rabbit trailing..need to get back to cleaning :) Thanks for all your love and prayers, they are much appreciated.
Much love,
Suse
{when i was a child, i expected what i needed
and asked for what I wanted.}
I know that this is not true for every person, but just from my honest child heart, this is what I thought.
Does childlike faith look different for everyone?
Should I expect what I need....in other words, be confident and totally at ease that all my necessities will be provided for?
I know I need to "seek the Kingdom of God above all else.." (Luke 12:31), and that is a given. I suppose that when I am in that place of seeking the Kingdom, I just have that expectancy that He will provide. This seems right to me.
He also says "keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. keep on seeking, and you will find."
Again, when this is in the context of seeking the Kingdom, I can ask for whatever I want! Right?
I wonder how the 7 yr old me would have dealt with having to find a job in a town where--there ARE no jobs :) Is this where I need to expect He will provide that job?
I think yes.
**Side note--I have been doing a trillion times better since my last post. Not feeling completely "up to par" but wayyy better. I have been doing a lot of cleaning and organizing and..purging at both my houses which has been good--both because I have always hated throwing/giving stuff away and this time I had no problem-and because it is such a good reminder that I do need to purge everything from my spiritual body that shouldn't belong there.
**Another side note--I have always struggled a little with body image (who doesn't), but ever since I returned from Costa Rica (where I lost quite a bit of weight) and have been putting it back on, I have just felt frustrated and a lack of self-control whatsoever, especially on what I eat. This is a huge area the Lord is trying to work through in me.
Today I felt was a kind of breakthrough point. I was walking by myself around Bridgeport (a fancy little (ok, big) shopping "town") and at first was feeling a little self conscious, especially amongst all the glam and "high classness". Today I let it go and said to myself, "I am always going to be a little awkward. Maybe always a little chubby. But this is who I am (today, at least) and I am going to love it, and know God is still madly in love with me." This is not to say that the Lord is not encouraging me to healthier lifestyles--say, to not overindulge, or that I am settling with where I'm at.
I guess mainly I'm learning where my confidence comes from--purely from the Lord--and He sees the fine masterpiece He made, above what anyone else (including and especially myself) can see..
Ok...well enough rabbit trailing..need to get back to cleaning :) Thanks for all your love and prayers, they are much appreciated.
Much love,
Suse
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