I remarked, "This road seems really long" or something like that.
My dad answered, "It always seems longer when you're anxious to get somewhere."
SO TRUE. I thought first of all the times I was on the edge of my seat just desperately waiting to get back to Corvallis and to Charis and how the road was just gloomily too long.
And then I thought of how many times, on this road that I'm on, how desperately long it seems. Even though there are beautiful hills and mountains and hay and cows all around me, I just don't care and want to get to my final destination. I have been anxious. This ultimately stems, I believe, from not trusting the Lord and His goodness, even if I think that I do.
I want my heart to be settled and rested and rooted so deep in His love that He has to yank me from the cows to see what He has laid out for me next :)
I believe there's nothing wrong with looking forward to something, or dreaming a little now and then--and if it is wrong well then.....I am very guilty! ;-) My thought has always been that our wishes and hopes and dreams and desires, etc, can be little ways to see God's faithfulness to us and to see His heart for us. Yesterday I reread a few pages of stuff the Lord was speaking to me last winter and one of the things He said for me was to "dream big".
But man, I just wanna enjoy the beautiful ride. Even if there AREN'T fields and cows and mountains to admire.
I don't want this to be a cliche post, but this is just what's been going through my head recently. Probably cuz He's reallllly working on deep trust in my heart and being settled with RIGHT where I'm at. Basic things like that.
Thanks for listening and thanks for you all your prayers. Much love,
suse
Good stuff, Susannah. Yes, I totally agree with you- it is so easy to get anxious about what might/will happen and forget or miss all the things happening at the moment.
ReplyDeletePraying for you as you begin the school year and we'll miss you on Tuesdays! You are ALWAYS welcome to join us (we'll provide room and board!).