Saturday, October 9, 2010

Awoken

Today, I just crave to have the boldness and unhesitancy to just be able to go up to that person or pray for that person or talk about the Lord in front of that person and not feel the least bit of fear or shame. To not even care what the outcome of the situation, as long as I know the Lord is control and will be glorified.
There is still so much inside that needs to be stripped down and built up--but the good news He is working within me and giving me more of an urgency.

Today I was walking out of a Spanish class with my friend Jordan and we stopped to get his bike, then we were going to swing by the bookstore area to check something before our free prayer later that day. Not very long after he says, "Soup (my nickname in Corvallis), I know this might be out of your comfort zone, but I think you should talk to that girl over there." A girl was sitting on the curb, smoking, and very focused and serious and sad. "I'm gonna go" and with a grin he takes off on his bike. My heart started pounding and I wasn't exactly sure what to do. Not receiving any words for her, I slowly started walking away praying, intending to come back if I got anything. Nothing profound came to me, but honestly I just felt like telling her "Hey, I just felt like I was supposed to tell you that Jesus loves you and wants a relationship with you." I went home without telling her that, as it was too late by the time I could muster anything up.

I want to be a woman that hears the voice of the Lord and just DOES it--without hesitancy--even if the words don't come right away. The Spirit of the living God is with me and gives me my words...this is just the next step in trusting Him.
I will say that with that little story and free prayer later that day (which I had to leave before anyone came to get prayer) my heart was awoken and a sense of urgency was placed on it. I will admit it: I have been pretty comfortable and lazy so far when it comes to opportunities here at OSU. Yes, I have always wanted things to happen. But now I am understanding it happens in the small encounters and just listening to the quiet voice of God- sometimes a quickening of my heart, sometimes a still, small whisper, sometimes a big banner, sometimes a dose of compassion.
I am just wanting to be a vessel for God like never before. I am drinking in this life the Lord has me in right now, and really enjoying it, despite its stresses.

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