Lately, I have just wanted to leave the country, get the heck out of here, and do something meaningful and really fulfilling.
My heart is RESTLESS, and not RESTFUL.
Wanna work with the poor, see Jesus in little children, be needed and wanted, live with little to nothing, and impact lives. I feel like I am not really living right now, that i"m in some kind of dormant phase. I don't like it. I KNOW this is a phase Jesus has for me right now.
Why is it so hard to grasp the present?? I'm having such a hard time, apparently.
I have felt like such a failure at loving people, pouring into people, being who I am in Christ, having motivation to do schoolwork, go to school--even doubting the things I thought I was always best at, like teaching, Spanish, and..loving people.
I just really have NO idea what's in store for me...and I know He has good plans, but there are so many ideas, so many schools, so many countries, so many languages, so many people......feeling overwhelmed by possibilities and not resting in my heart.
I want to be a woman who laughs without fear of the future- Prov. 31:25
I am not necessarily fearful, but rather anxious...
Thanks for letting me rant a little and please pray as I am obviously under a lot of attack.
Christ in me, hope of glory. Praise the Lord.
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Praying. Just keep a worshipful heart. Everything else is second. Worship is the most meaningful thing you can do in any and every season and I know you know how to do that. love you dearly
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